Most people have things in their lives that they want to change. These could be old habits, addictions or something they want to overcome. However, wanting to change something is only the first part of dealing with it. Doing something to change it is the second part. Consider an athlete in the Olympics who is competing as a sprinter in the 100 meter hurdles final. He has trained, he has worked out, he has prepared himself physically as well as mentally. He knows that as he runs, there will be hurdles on the track, but he also knows that if he doesn’t run, he can never win. His focus isn’t on the hurdles - it is on the finish line. Sure, the hurdles are there and he will have to clear them before he progresses to the next one, but with each step that he takes, and each hurdle that he clears, the finish line will come closer and closer. The hurdles are set in place with the intention of them being cleared. The finish line is intended to be crossed, but unless he actually starts the race, focuses on the finish line, and clears every hurdle that comes up, he will not finish. If you have things in your life that you would like to change, or see completed, hen the decision to start the race is entirely up to you. It is your race and you are the only competitor. All you need to do is start running, clear each hurdle as it comes up, but if you keep your focus on the finish you will win, and you will gain the prize.
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Recently I was pondering over my life and thinking about who and what I have become. As I did this, I began to think more on the actual word ‘become’. It doesn’t take an Einstein to know that the word ‘Become’ means ‘to happen, come about and arrive’ and is a compound of the two words ‘Be’ and ‘Come’. I have often heard people say, “Twelve months ago I would not have imagined that I would be where I am today.” Have you ever thought or said that? I know there are times that I have. Why do we say those things? It is because we often look backwards over what has happened in our lives and the only forward planning we have can be quoted with the phrase “Que Sera Sera - Whatever will be, will be”, but there is no hope or direction for us when that is our mindset. I realised how often we look in a backwards direction over our lives, but instead we need to look forward. When you think about it, who I choose to ‘be’ today will determine who I will ‘come’ to be tomorrow. If I don’t like who I have ‘come to be’ (or be-come) then I need to change who I am being today, so that the change will result in me having a new out-come. I can look at my past and cry with tears of regret over it, or I can remember the ‘glory days’ where things have gone better then planned, but neither viewing can change our future. Our remembering should be used to learn from, and plan for an even better future. Who have you be-come? Who would you like to be-come? The power to change that begins with you. So does the choice.
I regularly write quotes on Facebook. They are not just vague time wasting comments, but comments that are intended to provoke thought and inspiration in people. One of the recent quotes was “You are very influential. You can influence yourself to succeed or fail.” After writing that quote I got to thinking. How influential are we really. Who do we need to influence? I read an article in a book by John Maxwell recently that I have listed below: “A Middle-Eastern mystic said, ‘I was a revolutionary when I was young and all my prayer to God was: ‘Lord, give me the energy to change the world.’ As I approached middle age and realised that my life was half gone without changing a single soul, I changed my prayer to: ‘Lord, give me the grace to change all those who come into contact with me, just my family a friends, and I shall be satisfied.’ Now that I am an old man and my days are numbered, I have begun to see how foolish I have been. My one prayer now is: ‘Lord, give me the grace to change myself.’ If I had prayed this right from the start, I would not have wasted my life.” (Maxwell 1993, p. 50) I wonder - what is your prayer? Who do you want to change? Our natural tendency is to want to change everyone around us, and the last person we want to change is usually ourselves. Why is that? I would say it is because change can be painful, and it requires work and even discomfort. When someone goes on a diet, or goes to the gym, sacrifices need to be made and work needs to be done to bring about the change desired. However, one the change has been achieved, we acknowledge the sacrifice was worth it. I’ll reinforce the quote from earlier. “You are very influential. You can influence yourself to succeed or fail.” Which direction will your change take…?
Are you a Hypocrite? Some would be horrified if they were called one, especially if they view themselves as being ones who “Practice what they preach.”
Originally the word ‘hypocrite’ was a term used to describe an actor because they hid behind a mask and pretended to be something they were not. The word ‘Hypocrisy’ comes from two Greek words, ‘hypo’ meaning ‘under’, and ‘krisis’ (crisis) meaning ‘decision’. A crisis today means, “A time of intense difficulty or danger”, but it’s original meaning was “A turning point in the course of a disease”. This turning point was the moment where one of the two variables for the disease (i.e. you get better, or you get worse) was cut off hence the meaning ‘de-cision’. The word incision means to cut into - therefore giving two halves. The word ‘Decision’ means a removal of one of the options. Actors used to hide behind masks when playing their roles. They would act a certain way so that others would believe them to be something which in real life they are not. You are an actor in real life. People naturally come to a decision about you based on the role that you play. By our actions, we cause people to be ‘under decision’. They will end up believing something about us. Whether it be true or false doesn’t matter, they will believe what they perceive. John Maxwell says, “A man who calls himself a leader, but has nobody following him, is just a man out taking a walk.” A good leader therefore is one who is leading people. The title we may have of ‘Leader’ is ultimately given to us by those following us. What will they say about you? Have you ever driven a car with no power steering? I have. It is no fun, especially when the car is supposed to have it.
Recently the power steering unit of my car cracked and all of the fluid drained out making it very difficult to steer without using some muscle. That gave a whole new meaning to the term “Power steering”.To turn a car with power steering at standstill can easily be done with the open palm of your hand. To do this without power steering is impossible. However, with some momentum, this is workable. It is momentum that makes the difference. It is the same with leadership. Momentum makes the difference. It is never the size of your problem that is the problem. It's a lack of momentum. Without momentum, it doesn’t take much to slow you down, or even stop you. Consider some of the following things that maintain momentum compared to some of the things that break momentum. This list was inspired an article written by John Maxwell. Vision verses Di-Vision: Vision is an important part of leadership. Without vision, people perish. This is because their focus will be directed somewhere else. A leader that cannot produce vision will produce double-mindedness, or di-vision in those he is supposed to lead and that will definitely slow momentum. A Leader who can share vision will inspire those he is leading and generate momentum Solo players verses Team players If you try doing things on your own, you will destroy momentum. Team victories allow everyone to celebrate together, and the more victories the team celebrates, the more the momentum grows, especially if numerous people can claim to have played a part. The Past verses the Future “If you want to see your past, look at your current situation. If you want to see your future, look at your current action.” We can choose to continue thinking on the past and how things were, and stay stuck in what was or what could have been, or we can learn from the past and let go of it to embrace the future. Tomorrow will come, but the tomorrow you have will be determined by the actions of today. A critical attitude verses a constructive attitude When someone is given a critique their creative work is pulled to pieces or criticised. This could be positively or negatives. However, our human nature is that we will often naturally progress to the negative aspect of criticism. When someone is criticised often enough, it will not just discourage them or take courage away from them, it will cripple them. When this happens to those we are leading, we will quickly notice a grinding halt in our desired momentum. The opposite is also true. Encourage, or put courage into people and they will grow, and desire to achieve more. Then momentum will soar to record heights. Mental attitude makes all the difference to your overall momentum. Indecision verses action John Maxwell says, “I am never overly impressed with idea people. Anyone who takes a long shower can come up with a good idea. I'm impressed with a person who has the tenacity and discipline to make ideas happen.” Leaders can break the momentum on their team by giving in to the “paralysis of analysis”. Sometimes a leader needs to act without all of the needed information. Momentum and risk walk side by side. As a leader, there are times when in order to inspire excitement in those you lead, you just need to act. Tradition verses Creativity Good leaders consistently and demandingly question the reasoning behind the comments, “That’s how we have always done it” Although we need to know why the fence was built in the first place before we tear it down, we also need to realise that things that worked in the past may be outdated and could hold you back in the future. Dishonesty verses Character What sort of leader would you follow? One who is manipulative and deceitful of one who is trustworthy and has integrity and a strong character? Character is the sum total of our everyday choices. It cannot be built overnight. Integrity of character comes from the proper decisions made behind closed doors even when people haven’t been watching because it was simply the right thing to do. Peter Kusmic said, "Charisma without Character is a Catastrophe". The circumstances we live in determines our reputations, while the truth we choose to believe in determines our character. We have the choice to continue to maintain speed and watch our momentum continue, or we can act in ways that will bring it to a grinding halt. Over the next few days, assess your personal momentum. Are you continuing at the same speed, are you increasing pace, or are you struggling to overcome even the smallest challenges? What has been happening that has brought about your answer? What steps can you put in place right now that will ensure that you Maintain Momentum today. Did you know that it is good to dream? Not daydream about nothing, but dream about where you want to go with your life and what you want to do with it. The more you dream, the more it will inspire you, empower you, excite you and motivate you. George Bernard Shaw says, “You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'”
Consider this phrase for a moment - “You were made for a mission!” Every person has been created to make a difference in this earth. What difference are you planning to make? What is your “mission”? Has anybody ever told you that you cannot succeed? Do you believe them? For what purpose have you allowed your dreams to come to a standstill? What has been your reward for doing this? You may have felt you have lost the right to dream again, but in reality, you never lose that right unless you believe it to be true. Many people have failed in life, but that doesn’t make you a failure. Why? Because failure is an event, not a person. Here are a list of some people who dreamed, failed, but dared to dream again. The results of their continued dreaming I’m sure you are familiar with. - Walt Disney’s first cartoon production company went bankrupt. - Elvis Presley’s music teacher at High School gave him a C and told him he couldn’t sing. - When she was at drama school, Lucille Ball was told that she had no talent and should go home. - During their first year, Coca-Cola sold a total of only 400 Cokes. - During his first three years in the automobile business, Henry Ford went bankrupt twice. - Thomas Edison tried more than 2, 000 experiments before he was able to get his light bulb to work. - Albert Einstein didn’t start speaking until he was 9 years old. - Ludwig von Beethoven was deaf when he wrote some of his best music. - Glenn Cunningham suffered such severe burns when he was 5 yrs. old that doctors told him he would never walk again. In 1934, he set the World Record for the mile. If you have stopped dreaming, then it’s time you start again. Write your dreams down. Make them wild: What do you really want? What have you been told you could never have? What things are you passionate about that would allow you to leave your mark on the world? What things would you pursue if there were no restrictions on you? Create your written list of dreams. Diana Scharf Hunt once said, “Goals that are not written down are just wishes.” Writing them down will keep them in front of your eyes and make them more achievable. Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead. I dare you! Dare to dream. We’ve had our son home from school for the last few days. Today as a means of passing the time, he was watching the movie “Cool Runnings” which is a story of four Jamaican men who entered the first Jamaican bobsled team in the 1988 Winter Olympics. Their first days on the track were somewhat of an embarrassment. However, as they days progressed, it soon became obvious that they were becoming a force to be reckoned with.
One scene in the movie I found quite powerful. The captain of the team, Derice Bannock, was so inspired by the Swiss team, that he began to imitate them, psyching his team up the way the Swiss did, counting at the start of a race the way the Swiss did, and pushed his team in the ways of the Swiss so much that they became frustrated and nervous. Because of this, when it came time to race in front of the crowds, they totally fell apart. What turned them around and brought an incredible change in performance and unity within the team was a comment made by one of his teammates at the end of the day when they were debriefing. As he expressed his frustrations, he stated, “I didn’t come up here to forget who I am, and where I come from... If we look Jamaica, walk Jamaica, talk Jamaica, and is Jamaica, the we sure better bobsled as Jamaica”. Sometimes we too can be inspired by the words and actions of others and try to imitate them because they are successful, or are liked by others or are wealthy or whatever else our reasons can be. I remember growing up, my mother would continuously quote famous people that inspired her saying, Gloria says this, or, Joyce says that. I remember asking her one day, “That’s fine mum, but what do you say?” We often imitate others. Many people like to model themselves after famous people. It is both good and necessary to have mentors and coaches who can speak into our lives, but we still need to be genuine to ourselves. One thing we can easily forget (and I’ll personalise this) is that I was created to make a difference. No one can do better than I can, that which God placed me on this earth to do. In the same manner, no one can be a better you, than you can. We can’t make a difference to others while we are trying to be someone else. Be an inspiration to others, rather than an imitator of others. Be true to yourself. You are unique! You are special! Put one foot in front of the other and begin moving forward, because you were created to make a difference in this world. Just Run the Race
A determination to change is only part one. Doing it is part two. It is like the athlete who wants to run the one hundred meter hurdles. He knows that they are ahead, and that he needs to be prepared for them, but at the end of the day, the only way he can complete the race is to actually run it. Once he begins running, he know that the hurdles will come up, and the finish line will continue to come closer with each step, but unless he focuses on the finish line, and clears every hurdle he comes to, he will not finish the race. The hurdles are intended to be cleared. The finish line is intended to be crossed. The rules of the race are yours to set, but you will never win unless you start running, clear the hurdles and cross the finish line. Because it is your race, and you are the only competitor all you need to do is compete and you will win, and gain the prize. The Three P’s 1. Persistence - maintain your determination to achieve your goals consistently. 2. Perseverance - respond positively to setbacks you will surely experience in the change process. 3. Patience – remind yourself that change takes time and that if you maintain your commitment, you will see the changes we want come to reality. The Choice So, whether it is a New Years Resolution, or desire to change on just any day during the year, you can see a positive and happy ending. The key is to remind yourself that change is far from easy and will take some work. Just keep focused on your goals, see the finish line, and run till you cross it. Change
How have you gone with your New Years Resolution (NYR)? Statistics show that after 6 months, more than 50% of people who made a serious NYR have failed to see them through. After 12 months, more than 90% of people have failed. It makes you wonder why with those kind of statistics one would even bother thinking about New Year's resolution? In January, I shared techniques for setting a new years resolution that will help you stay focused. However, the thing we need to keep in mind is that a NYR is all about change – serious change, and what better time to start making a change in your life than today. Anyone who sets a NYR is a person who wants to see change. New Years Day is only one day. You don’t need to wait until the next one comes around to make changes that will improve your kind of life. Do it now! Anyone who has ever tried to change any part of his or her thinking, emotions, or behaviour knows that it can be a difficult task. The question that we need to ask ourselves is: Why do we have such a hard time making important changes in our lives? Change Challenges Let’s face it. Change is difficult. There is an old saying. “If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is”. Quick and easy methods that we so often see can often leave you feeling like a failure. Not only does change bring challenges, we have to face hurdles and baggage that may have been in our way for many years, maybe even from our childhood. Types of baggage include low self-esteem, anger, fear of failure, perfectionism, a need to control, and need to please. These cause us to respond in our thoughts, feelings and behaviours as we would have when we were children, rather than how we should as adults. These behaviours, and the emotions that associated with them are learned, and are often difficult to break through, although far from impossible. Foundations for Change Change starts when we come to realise that it is too painful to continue doing what we are doing. In life we are all motivated by two things - pain and pleasure. Everything we do is either out of our desire to gain pleasure or our need to avoid pain. We will actually do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. Pain can be an incredible motivator for change. I remember stepping on a broken piece of cup a few months ago. The direction my foot travelled (down) changed rapidly once I experienced enough pain to register the fact that something needed to change. Now you might say, “Well that’s obvious!” but that is exactly how things are in our life also. Change also requires that you exercise courage. Change requires risk, and this can often scare people away from going for it. The courage to change means that we are going to have to be willing to acknowledge and confront certain aspects of our lives, and this is something that some people don’t find very easy. Because change is uncertain, the only way to change is to take a leap of faith that involves a fundamental belief in the vision of who, what, and where we want to be in the future. One thing we need is a realisation that hurdles and obstacles to change exist, and a determination to clear those hurdles and obstacles is necessary as we pursue our goals. ... Part 2 next month... Recently I was thinking back to when I learned how to drive a car. I remember thinking that driving would be easy, but when I sat in the drivers seat with the instructor by my side, I suddenly realised that there was a lot that was going to happen at once that I hadn’t previously considered. I learned the acronym S.M.I.L.E. (Seatbelt, Mirrors, Ignition, Look, Engage). “Yeah right! Easy for you buddy! You’ve been doing it for years! Today is my first day!”
The interesting thing is that as time progresses, we learn everything we need to learn, then we become more comfortable with it. It’s second nature to us. We become skilled enough to now sit in the instructors seat and able to teach others. Everything is so easy… but then something goes horribly wrong! We drift into easy mode, and switch off because we just know how to do it all. It is when we switch off that things can go wrong. We forget some of the simple things like looking over your shoulder before changing lanes… having two hands on the wheel at all times… don’t use your mobile phone whilst driving… and the one I’m going to focus on today, use your mirrors regularly. This one simple procedure in driving is so important, and yet so many do it so little. Why? It’s not difficult. Mirrors are installed in your car to assist you in knowing what’s around you, but unless you look in them, you will be unaware of what is going on around you. Good leaders always lead in a way similar to good drivers. The have a clear focus on the road ahead, on what is going on and also on what is coming up but they never forget to have the occasional look over their shoulder and in their mirror to see what is happening around them. Sometimes this extra glance will cause us to be aware of something coming up and that making a slight adjustment could mean the difference between survival and being a statistic. When is the last time that as a leader you looked around you? When did you last make an adjustment? We all need to do it. Nothing survives well without a regular checkup, and adjustment, and your personal life and your organisation are no different. Think of this - an ocean liner that steams ahead on a path that is only a single degree off the mark will in two days be a long way off course. Remember that a fine adjustment can make a huge difference to your organisation. It’s critical that you look around, learn from your past, focus on your goals and maintain your direction and focus, especially in challenging economic times, but you will need to make occasional adjustments when necessary. This way you will arrive at your destination, but also enjoy the journey in the process. |
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