How often have you set a New Years Resolution? Are you likely to keep it going or is it going to fall flat within the first few days as they so often do.
Often it is not the New Years Resolution that you need to work at, but your ability to set a goal and work at it. A New Years Resolution is nothing more than setting a goal and working towards it. People are often inspired to do something special, and many are motivated by the coming of a New Year to move forward and make a difference in their lives. Here are five simple tips to help you in setting your goals and making a successful New Years Resolution. 1. Start with one resolution. If you try to make too many, you may not accomplish any. Make your resolution very specific. "Don't say 'I want to lose weight'— instead, say 'I want to lose one kilogram a month.'" 2. Be serious about your resolution. If you don't take your resolution seriously, it is a waste of time making one. 3. Write your resolution down and post it in a visible place. If you see your goal every day, it will be in the forefront of your mind. 4. Enlist the support of friends and family. Bring others in on the resolution so you have a support group to help you accomplish your goals. 5. Don't let yourself quit.
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A great concept to look at is called the be/do/have model. In looking what we 'have' (or don't have) the thing we often focus on is what we are 'doing' which is what brings about what we 'have'. For example,
If we want to 'have' extra money then we may need to get a second job, or do overtime, or make some personal cutbacks. This is the 'doing' to get what we want to 'have'. Sometimes however, we need to go a little deeper, and look at who we are 'being'. When we realise who we are 'being', our 'doing' can either be challenged or strengthened, which will affect what we 'have'. If in our example of wanting extra money we do the second job, or the overtime etc, then we need to ask who are we 'being' in that situation? Are we 'being' selfish by wanting extra money and doing the overtime, or second job and penalising the family? Are we in a financial hard place due to our mismanagement of personal finances or bad budgeting, or are we 'being' disciplined and just in a season where we need to do it hard because of a financial crisis that has suddenly come up? The 'being' factor is not always bad, but the 'being' factor needs to be considered so that the 'doing' and 'having' all come into balance. It is who we are 'being' that really affects us. When we realise this, we realise that exactly as you said, it is in our control. In life we often motivated by two things - pain and pleasure. Everything we do is either out of our desire to gain pleasure or our need to avoid pain. We will actually do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure.
Why is it that some people aggressively pursue their dream and others do not? The answer is simple. Often people know that succeeding would benefit them, but they fail to follow through because they associate more pain to doing what is needed than missing out on the opportunity. For most people, the fear of loss, is greater to them than their desire gain. To others, the pleasure of success is what they are aiming for, but it can be the actual pain of failure that drives them to succeed. Anthony Robbins states, “The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” |
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